


It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want to

by asianfairyfloss



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Family Feels, Feelings, Fluff, Gen, Happy Birthday Lance, Light Angst, Like the beginning of Shance, a sad birthday fic mind you but a birthday fic nonetheless, also, but either way this is a birthday fic, if you squint at the end, shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asianfairyfloss/pseuds/asianfairyfloss
Summary: Time in space is all relative. Especially amid a war. All that mattered was waking up to see another day and making sure one slept enough to not pass out at the command of a giant robotic war machine in the shape of a lion.Despite all this the team still made time to celebrate birthdays. It only seems fit that Lance's would be forgotten after losing their leader and dealing with yet another glara attack.------Shiro's back and the first thing on his mind is whether or not Lance had a good birthday.





	1. Chapter 1

            Time in space is all relative. Especially amid a war. All that mattered was waking up to see another day and making sure one slept enough to not pass out at the command of a giant robotic war machine in the shape of a lion. Lance understood this, but since the paladins were only human, they still tried to create the allusion of time while in space. Pidge was the one that tracked the stars enough to have a rough estimate of what season it would be in the Milky Way and Hunk engineered a type of clock that reflected this information. It took some _time_ , heh, but they did it and they had some idea of what time and season it was on Earth, so they were able to celebrate birthdays if the chance arose. Hunk’s birthday, was almost missed but they made it up to Hunk by being able to see Shay after a stop near the Balmera. Next, they learned Shiro was born on a leap year and so that was its own fun. The six-year-old jokes didn’t stop for about a week. Pidge’s birthday was the one they tried the hardest to celebrate, they needed the youngest to know they appreciated them and they knew how hard it had been on Pidge, with the loss of all their family.

            Now it was nearing the end of July which meant it was Lance’s birthday. Coming from such a large family and being the youngest sibling, Lance already knew the pains of being overlooked for cousins and nieces and nephews that fell around the same time, but he also knew that his parents always went out of their way to make sure the whole family was together in July for all the birthdays and that he got his fair share of recognition. With all this being said, Lance understood the seriousness of their jobs as protectors of the universe, and he knew that while they had been lucky to actually celebrate everyone else’s day, his day had about an 80% of being overlooked. It didn’t help that whenever his birthday was brought up, some crisis or another would distract the group enough to forget. With Shiro being gone as the newest crisis, they could still fight but Red lacked a paladin with Keith manning Black. There had been talk of his trying to use Red but they hadn’t figured it out just yet, everyone needing time to mourn.

            July 28th came and went in much the same fashion. Lance held small hope that maybe Hunk would remember but that was quickly dashed when another galra ship was spotted and a distress signal appeared from a rather large vessel being attack. But this was his job, this was what he was good at. Sure, he was overlooked and in mourning but being a hero wasn’t always about the gratification, but rather sacrificing their own needs for the greater good. So, Lance bore his teeth and set out to save the day with Blue by his side. Once inside Blue, he could feel her concern and love through their bond. Though not exactly a happy birthday, it was enough of a comfort to get him into the mindset to really help.

            “Come on girl. Let’s do what we do best.” He murmured to her.

            “Alright gang, this should be a simple mission.” Keith announces from the Black Lion. The wound of Shiro missing could be felt through their bonds. Hopefully this fight wouldn’t need them to actually form Voltron.

            “Nothing fancy Lance.” Keith makes sure to add in, already sensing the blue paladin was ready to make a comment.

            “Can’t help it if everything I do is fancy.” Lance teases, hoping to bury the sadness and distress he can already feel starting to creeping in at the new leader doubting him. He hears some laughs from Hunk and Pidge, thankful for the break in tension.

            “Alright paladins, enough chit chat, let’s go and help.” They hear Allura command through the comms. They all respond with some sort of confirmation.

            The battle is tough but satisfying. Lance is able to get in a few shots with Blue’s ice ray, and with the help of Hunk is able to help destroy the galra’s ion cannon before it could cause any more damage to the alien vessel. Keith and Pidge are able to add in the finishing blows after the ion cannon is out of commission.

            “Good work team, let’s rally at the Castle of Lions and we’ll hail the alien vessel to ensure they are alright.”

After departing Blue and resting his head and palm on her leg for his after-mission routine, Lance sets out to join the others at the bridge with Allura.

            “Hey, Lance, can I talk to you for a second?” Keith calls out to him from near Black. Unsure of what could cause this conversation Lance pauses and let’s Keith catch up to him.

            “What’s up my man?” Lance replies casually.

            “Look I know with Shiro gone we’ve been discussing you taking over as the Red paladin, and it’s just been talk but if you’re to take this seriously I need to know I can depend on you to actually listen to my command when we’re out there.” Lance takes a moment to pause his walk and stare at the new Black paladin.

            “Are you serious right now? Actually serious? Listen to you? I listen to you! If it weren’t for me and Hunk that ion cannon would have shot through the castle’s barrier.”

            “Except, that in order to destroy the ion cannon you went in recklessly and risked not only your lion but Hunk’s as well. Hunk listens to you and would risk his life for you and you know it. You take advantage of our teamwork and trust by going in like that. Just because you can make a shot and it all works out doesn’t mean you should.” Lance can’t help but laugh at the cruel irony. Of course, on his birthday would he not only be forgotten, but all his faults would be told to his face by the most reckless paladin on the team.

            “Wow, that is rich coming from you. I get you’re the leader and Shiro chose you should anything ever happen to him but last I checked, you were the reckless one that would fly in solo and cause mayhem. I knew what I was doing out there today and that’s all that matters. We saved the day, no one died or went missing, and we didn’t need to form Voltron. With us down a paladin, I’d think even _you_ ’ _d_ be able to take a win when you see one.” Lance bites back bitterly.

            “I know I don’t have a great track record of being calm and level headed but I’m doing the best and looking out for this team, so at least do me the courtesy of listening to my leadership while I _am_ the leader. Blaming your actions on Shiro being gone is childish, but hey, why would I ever expect anything different from you?” Keith storms forward without even sparing Lance a final glance. Lance lets the hangar doors shut before releasing a frustrated scream into the void. Of course, Lance knew that he had risked it a bit today, but he also knew he had the shot and Hunk had his back. He knew this. But he also knew Keith was right, Hunk would follow him into the fold even if the odds weren’t the greatest. He had a lot of feelings and thoughts racing through his head but he needed to join the others. Taking a few breaths Lance manages to bury most the anxiety and self-loathing enough to make his way to the bridge.

            Once at the bridge, he realizes the rest of the team is staring at the screen in front with the aliens aboard the vessel they just rescued.

            “This one thanks you again princess for aiding this one’s ship. This one is responsible for the last of this one’s kind. This one would invite the great Voltron aboard but this ship is already behind in this journey. This one must make haste to reach the new quadrant by the solstice. Thank you again and may you aid with peace.” Lance hears before Allura is bidding the alien good bye and they watch the vessel continue on its way out of the quadrant they are in.

            “Well paladins, I believe we’ve had enough excitement today and according to your Earth clock it is a reasonable time for food and rest. We’ll continue on the search for Shiro and we’ll resume training tomorrow. See you in several vargas.” Allura bids them farewell before returning to the star map holograms and continues to chart where they have searched and where they haven’t despite Coran’s protest that the princess needed rest as well. While the rest of the team trudges out, Hunk trails behind with Lance.

            “You okay? I heard that Keith wanted to talk with you and you both seemed pretty upset when you join us?” Hunk questions. Lance can’t help but be thankful for him. Despite all the problems at least he would have Hunk by his side.

            “Yeah, just being called out for being too reckless. Can’t do anything right by his leadership over there.” Lance responds, nudging his shoulder in Keith’s direction.

            “You know he’s trying his best. Shiro was like his brother, this has been extremely hard on him, and it doesn’t help that he just found out he’s part galra. Just, give it time. We’ll find Shiro, figure out the galra’s next moves and do what we do best man, save the galaxy. Besides, if it weren’t for you that ion cannon would have shot down the particle barrier. We’ll get through this and be home soon. I miss it too.” Hunk wraps an arm around his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. Lance lets his head rest on Hunk and just accepts it all. Hunk’s right and always knows what’s really going on in his head.

            “It’s just cause of the day. But thanks.” Lance responds. Hunk gives him a confused look but smiles at the thanks.

            Later that night while lying in bed Lance realizes that not even Hunk remembered what day it was. It wasn’t that big of a deal. They saved an entire race, they were still mourning, and so many other things, but in the quietness of space and in the safety of his room, Lance lets the fact wash over him. It’s starts small, a single tear slipping out of his eye. Then another, and another, until Lance is full out gasping and sobbing into his pillow. It shouldn’t hurt this much. His birthday had been forgotten once or twice before on Earth, but it does. Once he thinks about Earth his thoughts spiral and more tears pour out. His family, what about his family? Would they have the big family celebration for all the July birthdays or would they be mourning too? Their first birthday celebration without Lance, would they even remember his birthday? Would they even remember him? Would they set aside a piece of cake and leave the porch light on hoping he would be back? It’s been almost a year since they left. Would they still be searching? Would they have given up hope? Quiznak, he misses them. He misses home and the fact that even in the midst of all his family his birthday was always a happy time. The worst part of it all is he could have said something. He made a fuss about Shiro and Pidge and of course Hunk and later in the year, he’d even make a fuss about celebrating bat boy’s birthday. But his birthday is just like him, out of place in the vastness of space and this group. He knows that tomorrow he’ll have to suck it up and continue on with life. Space stops for no man and neither does time.  But tonight, tonight will be his. Tonight, he’ll cry and mourn not just the loss of a teammate and hero, but his youth and his birth. He’ll sit in self-loathing and think about all his faults and mistakes and why even his birth should be a mess just like him. He is worthy of nothing and no one and even his team sees him as a joke. Tonight, he’ll cry out all his insecurities, because hey, it’s his birthday and he’ll cry if he wants to.


	2. Family Means No One Is Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is back and despite missing huge chunks in his memory, Lance's birthday is not one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is like months late, but I had planned to add in some love because for real, everyone would not have forgotten Lance's birthday like that. So enjoy this little snippet to conclude this story.

Of all the people to realize what had happened back in July, it was Shiro. His memory was spotty, and his trauma back, but he knew Lance’s birthday had most definitely come and gone. So when the first thing out of his mouth was “Did you have a good birthday, Lance?”, the rest of the team couldn’t help but find disappointment in themselves.

 

“Laaaance. Why didn’t you say anything?” Hunk whines in Lance’s direction, while they all sit around the couches.

“Because we had more important things to worry about, Shiro, you were missing, and the team couldn’t form Voltron and then the musical lions. Also Pidge was trying to find Matt, and everyone was grieving, it just wasn’t the time.” Lance just continues to list all the events and feelings that had occurred into the past couple of months.

“Still, we always make time for birthdays, especially with how hectic our lives are.” Pidge states, giving Lance a look. Lance can’t help but look at Pidge fondly. She’d lost so much, yet here she was trying to embrace his silly tradition of celebrating birthdays.

“Well you know what this means?” Coran smiles.

“I’m not sharing a party with Keith, if that’s what you’re hinting at.” Lance grumbles, giving into childish tendencies and sticking his tongue out as well.

“I don’t even want a party Lance. Knowing my luck we’ll be neck deep in some Galra mission anyways.” Keith argues back without any heat.

“Keith…” Lance starts. Shiro gives a sigh before Allura cuts in with, “Now now, we do have time, so let’s celebrate the day of Lance’s birth and the fact that Shiro is back with us, if you don’t mind?” She turns and looks at the two. Lance can help but regard them all fondly, he’ll need to address the Keith issue later, cause he’s getting a birthday, but for now he’s okay with this plan.

“If you insist and everyone is up to it, I don’t want to burden anyone.” This of course causes Pidge and Hunk to scoff at Lance.

“A burden he says. Any other day Lance, any other day.” Pidge responds.

“Well let’s get started then.” Coran claps, before ushering Lance and Shiro out the room,

“Keep yourselves busy and we’ll be back for you when we’re ready.” Shiro huffs out a chuckle at Lance’s shocked face,

“Are you serious?”

“Of course, we must prepare like we do every time, party people not invited.” Coran responds while shooing them with his hand.

“Well I guess it’s just you and me.” Lance laughs and walks down the hall, no destination in mind. Shiro gives one last look at the doors Coran just walked behind before joining Lance down the hall.

 

“So how are you holding up?” Lance asks after a few minutes of silence.

“I’m getting there. I know our dynamics have changed and I’m still trying to remember what they did to me. It’s frustrating, like this keeps happening to me and I can’t seem to ever really get a grasp on my memory.” Shiro responds honestly. Lance hums and turns around to walk backwards so he can face his hero.

“I know nothing I can say can make this better but we are glad you’re back. Things will fall into place. You’re our leader, we’ll follow you wherever we need to.” Shiro gives Lance a small smile before allowing the silence to fall back on the conversation.

After wandering around for some time Lance can’t help but say what’s been on his mind.

“You know I’m surprised you actually remembered my birthday. With everything that happened.” Shiro gives a small huff before responding.

“We’re family, of course I’d remember. Isn’t that what you’ve been pushing since the start, that like it or not we only have each other in this war? Families stick together, even when one of them is captured by Galra and has to have his own solo space adventure to get back.”

“Sometimes a family is a space dad, an alien princess, a weird alien uncle, one bat brother, two best friends, and a little pigeon.” Lance jokes.

“Space dad?” Lance blushes and scratches the back of his neck,

“It’s this nickname Hunk, Pidge, and I gave you. Just cause, you’re like the leader/dad of the group and we try not to disappoint you.”

“But I’m not that old?” Shiro laughs, taking no offense at the name, if it made them feel comfortable around him, he’d take it. He knows being the oldest one can make some of the relationships awkward, just because they may see him more of a teacher or an adult, but really he wasn’t much older than them, and most his time was spent in captivity causing him to suffer enough PTSD to age him about several life times.

“We know but sometimes you look out for us in an older sibling, almost parental way. I mean I sure as hell don’t mind calling you Daddy.” Lance slips in without realizing it. It takes a second for both men to realize the innuendo. Lance is the first to splutter and turn red. He stops walking backward to avoid looking at the full body blush that is appearing on Shiro.

“Holy crow, please forget I said that.”

“Give it some time before we start discussing our kinks.” Shiro tries to joke to ease the tension, this only causes Lance to turn back and stare at him with his mouth open.

“You are _so_ not space dad, definitely older sibling. I cannot believe we have been missing out on meme knowing Shiro.” Shiro can only groan into his hands, he knew he shouldn’t have exposed this side of him.

“I won’t kink shame you to the others if you don’t tell them I know memes.”  
“But Pigeon would love this. Do you know how many memes we are missing out on while we are out in space?”

“Lance no.” Shiro commands, with little heat or authority in his voice.

“Fine, but we are having some serious bonding time to make up for this blasphemous lie you’ve been upholding.” Lance continues to laugh about this while they continue their loop of the castle.

 

They eventually make their way back to the others after they hear Allura call for them back. The “party” is great and Lance is even able to address the “Keith Issue” as he called it. Of course they would celebrate his birthday, and Galra or not, they were going to make him have his day.

“Hey man, I know we fight, and have some clashing heads, but this whole birthday thing isn’t a competition, it’s literally a way for us to have some normalcy and to have that special day, I know you may feel like you don’t deserve it but you were a leader when we needed one and you’re still our teammate, no matter your heritage.”

“Thanks Lance. You’re right, we do snap at each other, but you helped me a lot when I was leader, and I know I wasn’t the best, but we are all trying our best to fill in all these roles and…thank you.”

 

That night Lance can’t help but think back to Shiro and the conversation they had. At the party Shiro seemed to be there physically but he definitely wasn’t 100% back to his normal self, but who could blame him after being kidnapped again. Lance knew this day was supposed to be about him, and he did feel better, no self-loathing and he felt better about his place in the team, but now he could only worry about Shiro, he was right when he said he wasn’t much older, but he had been through so much in his lifetime, that Lance can’t help but feel like Shiro needed the “dad” responsibility to be taken off of him. In fact, Allura probably didn’t need the “mom” responsibility on her either. It’d take time but Lance knew he needed to make a plan to help Shiro (and eventually Allura) get some well deserved living in, not what they were doing but actual living, like a person his age should. Hang with friends, eat good food, fall in love…That thought causes a slight flutter to appear in Lance’s chest. Yeah, fall in love, and just try to make the best of their situation cause after all, time in space is relative but it doesn’t mean their family can’t make the best of the time they do have together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is a little Shance in their if you squint at the middle and end but Shance is my OTP so fight me? Again, sorry for the wait and how short this is, but I have some other ideas floating around my head but I still wanted to finish this off.
> 
> tumblr | bluepaladintears  
> twitter | harlotqueenn

**Author's Note:**

> This really was meant to be fucking sad but apparently I love my boy too much and couldn't even hurt him properly. Still Happy Birthday Sharpshooter ♥ 
> 
> tumblr | bluepaladintears  
> twitter | harlotqueenn


End file.
